Marvel: Are you ready for the GOD of motherFUCKING THUNDER?????? He’s six feet of RAW MUSCLE and his hobbies include SMASHING things with a HUGE, MAGIC HAMMER and being a generally SEXY BEAST
10/10 gif usage
The funniest thing is I imagine Diana and Thor would get along very well, and bond over their dads being the head honchos of the gods. Also lightning and thunder! Diana would probably be like a slightly exasperated big sister to Thor at times. Oh and she can 100% lift Mjolnir and wield Stormbreaker.
and we all know how Thor feels about female warriors. he would think Diana is the absolute coolest
Mjolnir? Stormbeaker? If Thor met her he would absolutely gush over her Lasso of truth!! A weapon designed to have one last ditch effort to resolve a situation even when your opponent has already resigned to battle? One last chance to resolve the conflict before anyone has to get hurt? Even just the fact that it can grapple an enemy instead of kill them outright. Thor would be in awe of Wonder Woman. To Thor she is everything a leader should be, brave, strong, wise, and just like Thor she is enamored by humanity despite it’s flaws. Wonder Woman is Thor’s goals personified. She’s the leader he wants to be
My best friend pet sat a cat named Lenny who was so spherical that if you ignored his legs, you could calculate his exact volume and surface area from his circumference. Like literally, this cat was so fat that he was a geometric perfection, less of a body and more a mathematical diagram. So fat. So so fat. A black basketball that meowed. And he moved with an aristocratic grace. If he wanted to jump up into your lap, by god he would jump up into your lap with the blithe self-assurance of a cat who has never considered he might fail. He balanced on his feet with a ballerina’s poise. He was a cat who looked like he should have been wearing a top hat and a monocle, and he should have had 12 children whom he loved dearly, and if he spoke, it would be the posh kind of English and he’d say “right-o” without any irony as he died of gout. I met this cat once, and I love him so much it hurts just to think about it.
Some time when he is on the run doing the whole Secret Avenger thing, Sam Wilson picks up a cat. Maybe it’s a stray, a scrawny sort of sorry beast you find in back alleys and under bushes, the kind of animal that demands you drop everything and attend to this little rag of helplessness, and maybe that’s exactly what Sam did and he kept attending to it and look at how beautiful his cat is now. Or maybe Sam stole (borrowed) a car one day and neglected to see the cat carrier in the back, and oh my god, he just stole someone’s cat, he just stole someone’s cat, and Sam is feeling like the worst person in the world, until Steve finds some paperwork that says this cat was about to get dropped off at the pound, at which point Sam switches over into pure rage because who would ever get rid of this cat. Or maybe Sam just goes to the pound one day, and when Steve comes back to their apartment, they own a cat now. Steve rolls with it; he knows Sam’s lost a lot. And. Well. It is a hell of a cat.
(“I’m just saying, this cat could have fed a family of twelve in the Depression,” Steve says as he pets the sheer mass of feline opulence in his lap, and Sam’s like, “We get it, Cap, you’re old.”)
And Sam realizes that he has to name this cat. And he looks at this creature, this pure and perfect cat of unparalleled majesty, and there’s only one name that he can think to give it.
And at some point, during some crisis, they team up with T’Challa once more to take out, I don’t know, a evil space robot or something. And when they’re done and the world is saved, Sam is like, “Hey man, you oughta hang out with us before you head back,” and he says this because hell yeah T’Challa should come hang out with them, that would be so fucking cool, and it would feel almost like being back at the Compound, a bunch of good people hanging out together after doing good things, and all of a sudden Sam misses the Avengers in a way he can’t talk about with Steve because Steve will just apologize again and, like, that’s not it. That’s not the point.
“Sure,” says T’Challa, who looks too good for a man standing there in half a cat costume.
Maybe Sam’s a little too rah-rah American to pay much heed to royals, but damn does he remember that T’Challa is a king as Sam opens the door to the shitty apartment they’ve been hiding in. It’s secret, which means it’s terrible, which means that there’s barely anything that Sam would want T’Challa to touch, let alone sit in, and Steve’s already peeled off to claim first dibs on the shower, and Sam’s just standing there trying to think of something to say that’s not incredibly awkward.
“Boy, you should have seen where I was staying before you helped arrest me,” Sam says. “That was a cool place.”
T’Challa looks like he is trying to think of something to say too, something that’s like probably along the lines of yeah sorry I helped arrest you, thought your friend was a murderer lol by the way he’s still fine in our freezers, when they hear the soft thud that means the cat’s woken up. It sounds a bit like thunder from far away. And then there’s the cheerful tinkling of his bell as the cat trots merrily out into the living room. If you put him next to a 19th century country gentleman named Lord Faulteroy of Missionhillwestshire, Sam is not sure he could say which one is which.
“My god,” T’Challa says, which is what most people say when they see Sam’s cat for the first time.
“Yeah,” Sam replies, and then as T’Challa kneels and reaches out a hand, Sam realizes something he probably should have realized before he brought the King of Wakanda here. “Ummm,” Sam manages to get out before T’Challa reads the tag on the cat’s collar.
There’s a brief silence.
“There are two ‘l’s in my name,” T’Challa says as he pulls as much of Lil T’Chala into his lap as he can manage.
“Petsmart fucked that up,” Sam says. “That’s not on me.” It was in fact on him. Sam was too sure that he knew how to spell T’Challa’s name without checking. He’d own up to the mistake, because yeah, he feels like a dick about it, but he’s already lied about it being Petsmart’s fault to Steve because otherwise Steve will just give him that grin and be like, have you heard of this thing called Google? Answers all your questions. Sam couldn’t handle that.
T’Challa smiles. Then he bows his head. He solemnly takes his namesake’s front paw, and says with a grave voice that Sam will learn to recognize someday as T’Challa’s joking voice, “Nice to meet you, your highness. Are you also the greatest warrior in your land?”
And in this universe, in this place, that’s the moment Sam lowkey falls in love.
I just wanted to let y’all know that my alternative idea for whatever the hell this is was that as Steve and Bucky say goodbye before Bucky goes under again, Sam’s just wandering the hallways of the palace, thinking. Specifically he’s thinking about how goddamn weird his life has become.
“It does seem to have been a strange week for you,” says the Dora Milaje who has been assigned to give him a tour. (Or “give him a tour” because it’s pretty clear that her real purpose at the moment is to make sure the American doesn’t break anything. Sam is very fine with that. He has worried about breaking something since T’Challa mentioned in passing that the vase in Sam’s room was 800 years old. That’s too old. Sam can’t be responsible for that vase. So if this badass warrior wants to follow him around so Sam doesn’t bump into anything, Sam is down for that. And she does actually know quite a bit of trivia about the palace. Even if that trivia is just listing the reasons Sam shouldn’t bump into that wall of masks he was clearly veering towards.)
“Not my weirdest week,” Sam says. He’s pleased and unnerved to discover that sentence might be true.
“Then you have lived a very interesting life,” says a voice, and they turn around to see T’Challa coming up the hallway.
“Well, I don’t own a cat costume,” Sam says. “But hey, I keep myself busy.”
It’s not until after Sam says that that he wonders if that was the kind of statement you weren’t supposed to say in front of a king’s subject. He glances at the Dora Milaje; her face is unhelpfully stoic.
“We cannot all fly,” T’Challa says. Then he says something to the Dora Milaje who bows her head to him and then nods at Sam before she leaves. Sam very much does not want her to go. “Come with me,” T’Challa says casually. “I will give you the tour myself.”
“This feels like a trap,” Sam says as they start walking.
T’Challa smiles. “I thought you might like to see our guardian, the Black Panther. To better understand our ways.”
“Aren’t you the Black Panther?”
“In a way. But I represent something far greater.” T’Challa pauses in front of a door. “Will you show respect?” he asks, and suddenly his words had claws–not striking yet, but unsheathed.
Sam raises his hands. “Of course.”
T’Challa studies him. Sam feels very much studied. “Good,” T’Challa says. “I will remember you said that.” And then he opens the door into what turns out to be T’Challa’s private quarters. Sam hears a distant thump and then the frantic tinkling of a fast approaching bell.
The fattest cat Sam has ever seen jaunts into the room. He looks like a black cloud with a tail. He looks like the cat version of a fully puffed up pufferfish. He looks like if Sam jabbed him with a pin he’d start flying around the room.
“This,” T’Challa says solemnly, “is the Black Panther.”
“Okay,” Sam says. “You’re a dick.”
T’Challa grins. “You said you would be respectful.
“Oh I’m gonna be respectful as hell to that cat,” Sam says. “But you’re a dick.”
T’Challa leans down and holds out his hand. The car wanders over to him like he’s doing the king a favor. “He has protected our people for a thousand generations.”
“I know you’re lying, man.”
“How dare you,” T’Challa says lazily as he scratches the cat behind his ears, and yes, fine, maybe the sight of T’Challa in a casual sweater crouching while petting the world’s cutest furry globe is maybe perhaps doing things to Sam’s heart. Maybe. Sam’s not saying. “Now you don’t get to pet him until you admit that he is the greatest warrior in our land.”
“I hate you.”
“But you still would like to pet my cat.”
Sam very much does want to pet his cat.
And to return to the subject, it is a testament of exactly how goddamn weird Sam’s life has gotten that when he ends up sitting on the floor of a palace with its monarch as they both pet a cat whose name does turn out to be Black Panther, the only thing Sam ends up marveling over later that night was the look on T’Challa’s face as he tried to brush cat fur off his sensible and slightly too tight sweater. It was a good look. It was a very good look.
Homecoming / Civil War
Post recruitment “training” the kids of the group.
Part 2 / 2.
On the contrary, @holy-macncheese-batman, I actually took quite a bit of context into account here.
When Peter has his first confrontation with the Vulture, yes, that one isn’t on Tony’s head because that was their first time finding out about him.
But the very first thing Peter did was tell Tony about Vulture and the weapons deal – meaning that Tony now knows about all of it, as well as Peter’s possible involvement as a target for revenge.
Now credit where credit is due – Tony does tell Peter to stick to the small stuff like giving directions to little old ladies.
But then he goes and does this:
He implies to Peter that even though he knows about it, he’s not going to do anything about it. That dealing with highly-deadly alien weapons being sold to street criminals is “below his paygrade.”
That “there are people who handle these things.”
And poor Peter is thinking of what happened at the bank robbery, and how normal people
who “handle these things” won’t stand a chance against alien tech, and assumes that Stark is blowing off what he’s trying to warn him about and is consequently sending people to their death.
Which is precisely what happens on the ferry.
Those FBI agents with their little kevlar vests would not have been able to do a damn thing against those alien tech weapons. There wouldn’t have been a thing that anyone there could have done to prevent that ferry from going down if Peter hadn’t been there. And Tony wouldn’t have even shown up if Peter hadn’t been at that location showing the alert.
Tony doesn’t feel the need to tell Peter anything about what’s going on or supervise the kinds of situations that Peter is getting himself into. He tells him to play it safe, but does nothing to monitor that.
Conversely, every time that Wanda is in the field, she has at least one senior agent with her at all times.
They are all watching her back,
helping her defend herself, and assigning specific tasks that she can safely do. They are training her.
Even in this last gif, despite the fact that Wanda’s got a force field up to protect her from behind, Sam’s still watching her in case her concentration slips or something goes wrong.
(And keep in mind that this mission was never supposed to get as messy as it did – they didn’t intentionally bring her into a situation that was going to end in an all-out confrontation, but they were prepared for the worst case scenario despite that.)
Hell, just watch this whole scene.
Watch the way that they all walk her through it – Steve is asking for what she sees, then prompting her to help with what she’s missing but still letting her draw her own conclusions. He’s showing her how to analyze a situation from every angle, and how to read her opponent. Even sitting in a quiet cafe, Natasha is still nearby, keeping an eye on her and ready to spring into action and help if something goes horribly wrong.
And later in that scene where they’re all forced to split up, Wanda is not sent to chase down the criminals on her own – she remains within distance of Steve, enough so that she can cover his back when Rumlowe sets off that bomb.
Even at the airport fight Clint is at her side almost the entire time, and even shields her with his own body.
They all know that she is young and inexperienced and still very new at this. They know that she can’t take the kind of hits that the rest of them can. They know what her strengths and weaknesses are, and use that to best set her up for success.
The only time that anyone manages to land a solid hit on her is when T’Challa takes out Clint, leaving her alone to hold up the radio tower rubble, and Rhody shoots her in the back with that sound cannon.
Now compare that to poor Peter, who was basically told “go web them up and try to keep your distance” and then left entirely to his own devices.
Peter has no idea what’s going on, what he’s doing, or what to do in a full-out combat scenario. He certainly doesn’t know what to do against other enhanced.
And he gets his ass handed to him pretty solidly by both Sam and Steve (and kind of by Scott, but that was an accident.)
Peter is thrown into an all-out superhero fight with no training, no experience, and no backup, to face a bunch of highly-skilled and experienced fighters. Even if Tony knew they would be pulling their punches (which is a pretty big assumption given that he knows Bucky can be switched to Winter Soldier mode) he’s still tossing Peter against a group of opponents who are more than able to take him out.
And making a point of keeping it to himself that Peter is fifteen.
As far as the instant kill – yes, there was a “barrier.”
However, this barrier was a “Training Wheels” protocol in the suit that was easily hacked through by a middleschooler on a laptop.
If Tony is supposed to be one of the smartest people in the MCU – someone who is at the absolute forefront of technology, and who supposedly knows that Peter is really smart – why in the hell would he not put any freaking effort into making sure Peter couldn’t get through his lock-out?!
Honestly, all of the stans hype Tony up as this absolute unsurpassed genius, to the point where they’re all attacking Shuri for daring to be smarter than him, but then they brush this off as “well Tony didn’t think Peter would hack it.”
This reads far less like “Tony is a genius” and far more like “Tony thinks he’s a genius compared to everyone else and acts accordingly despite that not being the case.”
Tony assumed Peter wouldn’t be smart enough to hack through some basic programming, and so didn’t bother to put any kind of significant security on his higher suit functions.
That’s the only reason I can think of for Tony not to have bothered with at least an attempt at an actual security system.
As for the “Instant Kill” mode itself, in the scene, Karen asks Peter if he would like to put the suit into “Combat Mode.”
When Peter replies yes, Karen responds “Activating Instant Kill.”
This isn’t a feature that Peter selects. It’s the default for fighting.
Tony has the default fight mode set to kill whoever Peter is facing.
This only makes it worse if we take into account the fact that Tony said stick to the petty crime.
Tony wanted fifteen-year-old Peter to handle petty crime with lethal force.
That’s not good.
I mean that’s really not good…
But that’s another discussion.
Now you could argue relative effectiveness between Wanda and Peter, as I’ve seen a number of people do in the notes, but again, you have to take a lot into context that they’re specifically avoiding.
The situation of their two biggest fights (up till the point of the discussion anyway) was vastly different between the two – one taking place in a crowded market in the middle of the day and the other on a deserted beach at night. As this point has been covered in other replies, however, I won’t get into it.
What I will get into is the background they each came from.
Peter had the privilege of growing up in a fairly stable home with a parental figure to love and care for him, even after his biological parents died.
Wanda was left orphaned and starving on the street with nobody but her brother in a war-torn failed state that was constantly getting shelled.
Peter had the privilege of attending school and being able to expand on his natural genius using the resources around him (even if he had to dumpster dive for some of them).
Wanda had basically nothing growing up. There is an incredibly slim chance that she continued with any kind of schooling once her parents were killed, and
her childhood trauma and loss
has also left her with some pretty significant side-effects that she is still struggling to work through…
Side effects such as a need for validation when acting, a habit of constantly looking to an adult figure (usually Clint) for reassurance, and a fear of being abandoned/left alone.
A lot of it is subtle, but it’s definitely present.
Looking to the nearby “adult” figure for confirmation every time she acts:
Additionally, in almost every group scene she’s in, Wanda is following along at someone’s heels, sticking right by whoever she is with.
In Age of Ultron she and her brother hardly leave each other’s sides. Hell, she’s practically on top of him in any scene they’re in together:
She spends most of Civil War trailing Clint like a little kid so he can protect her, because despite the fact that she can kick anyone’s ass in half the time Clint could (see basically the entire compound breakout scene) she’s scared, and he feels safe to her – he’s one of the few people she trusts implicitly.
And Clint – who is very clearly aware of this – does his best to fulfill
the roll of “protector” for her, even if only for show, to help give
her the confidence she needs to kick ass.
*****MINOR INFINITY WAR SPOILER ALERT*****
Even in Infinity War, after two years of being on the run with Steve and Co., Wanda is still the obedient kid who is doing what her parent figures tell her, even if she doesn’t really want to.
Wanda has the mentality of a child.
(Hell, she may never grow fully out of this – I know people more than twice my age that suffered traumatic childhoods and who still have moments and situations where they act like an upset little kid because of it.)
It’s not something that just “goes away” or “gets better” because she’s in a better place and has a support system now.
It puts her and Peter on about the same level of need in regards to supervision, despite the age difference. Peter needs someone there because he doesn’t have the experience he needs to think things all the way through before making decisions. Wanda has more experience, but needs someone there because she doesn’t have the confidence in her own ability to make decisions.
The thing is, they both still NEED someone watching after them.
Additionally, Peter is already coming into this with an advantage over Wanda – he
doesn’t have the trauma-induced developmental stunt that she’s having to
cope with, or the confidence issues.
He also has his “spidey
senses” which alert him to danger on pure instinct and help him dodge
out of the way. Wanda has to focus her concentration on her powers,
which leaves her open as a target and doesn’t allow for a lot of
Team Cap makes sure that Wanda has the support she needs instead of simply focusing on her physical age, and they all actively supervise her in the field. Nobody can get to her without going through at least one of the others first.
Tony, on the other hand, ignores Peter because having a tag-along teenager is inconvenient most of the time, and it’s so much easier to push him off on Happy, especially when Peter questions his “because I’m the adult and I said to” mentality. Because of this, Peter is essentially a walking target, and is constantly getting himself into trouble. Tony doesn’t care enough to keep an eye on him or give him any kind of proper training.
I mean, hell, just look at the lineups from Civil War.
has Peter on the front line to face off against the others in an
all-out fight. He’s treating Peter like the other combat-trained adults
on his team, not a child with no experience.
Cap are staggered so that Wanda is not only a good pace or two behind
them, but so that Steve and Clint are partially shielding her with their
At the end of the day, what all of this boils down to is the fact that Wanda was recruited because Cap and Clint saw that she had nobody but them left to turn to, and thought she would be a good fit for the Avengers, whereas Peter was recruited because Tony wanted another name on his list of “super hero types that didn’t pick Steve over me” and wasn’t above blackmailing and legally kidnapping a child in order to get that headcount.
Chirping Tiger out,
there’s a special place in my heart for tabloids that are straight up slander
It all makes sense now… Iron Man and Spiderman both have the same last name…….
the proof is out there
I know that tabloids are nonsense but I’m not gonna lie I’m enormously entertained by the idea that someone from a crappy tabloid managed to corner Rhodey on the street and be like SIR WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT TONY STARK’S SECRET LOVE CHILD WITH NATASHA ROMANOFF and Rhodey, being the excellent best friend that he is, seeing the ideal chance for prime fuckery and going WELL WHY DON’T I JUST GIVE YOU ALL THE DETAILS
Once upon a time, Thor was exiled to Midgard, and spent his time playing the role of the hero. So his brother Loki—smarting over a few minor squabbles—decided to play the role of the villain. But the gods are creatures of magic. Creatures of story. We must be careful which roles we step into.